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You Are Here: :: BizarreTees.com Funny T-Shirts, Crude Tees, Offensive Shirts :: Funny Shirts & Crude Tees (Warning "R" Rated)

Welcome to our Crude & Funny section! If you're looking for something that is unique, bizarre, funny and/or offensive you are in the correct section :)

Crude tees, unique humor, funny t-shirts & much more. All designs are offered on t-shirts, buttons, stickers, mouse pads, aprons, magnets and many other items, so browse around until you find something that you like!

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Close Only Counts In Hoseshoes T-Shirts
Close Only Counts In Hoseshoes T-Shirts

So you ever use the old saying 'Close Only Counts in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades'? If so, this t-shirt is perfect for you. Also makes a great gift for someone hard to buy for.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.

This really makes a great drinking or party shirt, but also works great on a variety of other items that we have for sale. "Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes."
I'm a Motherfuckin' Princess
I'm a Motherfuckin' Princess

A funny t-shirt design to let people know who's in charge. Perfect for a gift or for yourself.. this pretty pink design says "I'm a Motherfuckin' Princess."
Always wash your balls
Always wash your balls

This nurse is giving some good advise.. make sure to listen! "Always wash your balls"
Only Your Mother Could Love
Only Your Mother Could Love

This design sounds nice until you think about it a little more. This is a simple item that says 'I have a face that only your mother could love.'
Prairie Doggin T-Shirts
Prairie Doggin T-Shirts

Gotta love a shirt with poop humor. This "Prairie Doggin" t-shirt design features an image of a prairie dog and is an obvious reference to having to poop poking out.
Lead Chinese Toys
Lead Chinese Toys

In the midst of all of these Chinese toy recalls, we may as well turn it into something that folks can laugh over. This 'I'll pump you so full of lead that the Chinese will sell you as a children's to
Bite The Bacon
Bite The Bacon

This simple design is a funny adult humor t-shirt design that says "Bite The Bacon" and features an image of two pieces of bacon. Very funny and is sure to get some smiles.
Drink Bob's Banana Juice Shirt
Drink Bob's Banana Juice Shirt

This crude shirt shows an image of a banana with the text "Drink Bob's Banana Juice." A parody advertisement with a crude but funny double meaning. Crude blow job humor.
Skin Flutist
Skin Flutist

Is it Flutist or Flautist? Well, "Flutist" has been used for longer, which is why it is placed on our masturbation-humor shirt "Skin Flutist". If you love to jack off, and want to crack a smile, this
My Last Four Scores T-Shirts
My Last Four Scores T-Shirts

This funny t-shirt parodies Abraham Lincoln's "four scores" speech. This funny t-shirt says "My last four scores were seven years ago." So, if you know someone who hasn't gotten laid in a while, this
Enjoy the Taste-splosion of my Dick
Enjoy the Taste-splosion of my Dick

This crude but funny t-shirt design is a knock-off of those corny advertisements that you sometimes see. Especially the ones that use dumb made up words.... this shirt says "Enjoy The Taste-splosion..
You Are A Douche T-Shirts
You Are A Douche T-Shirts

It's amazing how many douches you run across these days. Say what you are thinking without even opening your mouth with this "you are a douche" design.
You're More and More Douchey T-Shirts
You're More and More Douchey T-Shirts

This crude t-shirt says "Every time you open your mouth you sound more and more douchey." We all know a douchebag, wear this shirt and let them know how much of a douche they are.
Out Of Money Experience Shirt
Out Of Money Experience Shirt

This funny t-shirt says "I am having an out of money experience." A funny phrase for anyone who is broke, which is an obvious parody of having an out of body experience, except with money!
Douche Free Zone Shirts
Douche Free Zone Shirts

This is a funny image showing a douche with a 'no' symbol. Along the top it has the text 'Douche Free Zone.'
You Are NOT A Pirate T-Shirts
You Are NOT A Pirate T-Shirts

Are you tired of the "Pirate Fad" going on right now? With movies, t-shirts and Talk Like A Pirate Day this "You Are NOT A PIRATE Damn It!" t-shirt design is perfect for you.
Stop Staring At My Teddies
Stop Staring At My Teddies

This funny t-shirt features two teddy bears placed over the boob area of the shirt, and the text "Stop Staring At My Teddies"
I Know Shit From Shinola
I Know Shit From Shinola

This "I Know Shit From Shinola." t-shirt design is a great take on the old phrase "He doesn't know (or You don't know) shit from Shinola." A funny design that makes a great gift.
MILF Monkey
MILF Monkey

Everyone loves a MILF, however this M.I.L.F. design adds a slight twist... this funny Monkey I'd Like To Fuck design is perfect if you want to make some friends giggle, or start up a few conversations
Bass Jumping
Bass Jumping

This funny Bass Jumping shirt has a great double meaning. In fact, if you play bass, and base jump this could quite honestly be a perfect shirt for you... but is also fitting if you like either one.
Guitar, Pluck It
Guitar, Pluck It

This design is along the lines of our BLOW ME harmonica. This t-shirt features a silhouette of an acoustic guitar with the text "Pluck it." A funny design for any guitar player.
I'd Hit It.
I'd Hit It.

This is a hilarious t-shirt design with a set of bongo drums and the text "I'd hit it.", great for any drummer. We also have a funny design with a regular drum set, just visit BizarreTees.com > Humor
Silicone Ribbon, Support Fake Boobs
Silicone Ribbon, Support Fake Boobs

There are an awful lot of Support Ribbons out there, but none like this. This ribbon is made of silicone and has the text "The Silicone Ribbon, Support Fake Boobs"
Harmonica Blow Me
Harmonica Blow Me

This shirt features a harmonica, also known as a "Mouth Harp" with the text Blow Me. A very funny design for any music lover, player of the harmonica or anyone with a sense of humor.
I beat it all night long
I beat it all night long

Funny design for any drummer! This design features a drum set and the text "I beat it all night long."
Guns don't kill people, crazy ass motherfuckers do
Guns don't kill people, crazy ass motherfuckers do

Let everyone know how you feel about gun control with this great design! Guns don't kill people... crazy ass motherfuckers do.
Latin:
Latin: "If you can read this you're over-educated"

Latin shirt that translates to "If you can read this you're over-educated" very funny!
Hunting with Dick Cheney
Hunting with Dick Cheney

Hilarious design that says "I'd still rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy". But Ted Kennedy is still ahead on the body count.
(arrow) Mother is a whore
(arrow) Mother is a whore

If the person standing next to you has a whore for a mother.. why keep it inside? Let the whole world know with this great design! An "I'm with stupid" parody, this features an arrow with the text "Mo
Team Sugartits
Team Sugartits

It's not every day that a drunken Anti-Semitic actor/director calls you sexually obnoxious names. If you can't support Team Gibson, join "Team Sugartits" to show who's side you're on!
I have unwieldy pig nads.
I have unwieldy pig nads.

Crude and funny design, letting everyone know how unwieldy your pig nads are!
Waterhead
Waterhead

Simple design with the text "waterhead." A really offensive design to get for a retarded friend of yours.. or for yourself, if you're retarded. ;)
I shat in the green onions
I shat in the green onions

There are so many E. Coli outbreaks that make the news. This funny design features lettuce and green onion graphics and the text "I shat in the green onions... and I wiped my ass with the lettuce... a
Progression of Life
Progression of Life

Funny "Progression of Life" design showing a baby bottle, cola bottle, beer bottle, and IV drip.
Ewe is not fat, Ewe is a BIG BITCH!
Ewe is not fat, Ewe is a BIG BITCH!

Forget about "Ewe is not fat, Ewe is fluffy".. Ewe is a BIG BITCH!
Bi-Polar (bear)
Bi-Polar (bear)

This polar bear wears pasties, red thong panties and is holding a martini and the bi-sexual flag. This funny design has the caption "Bi-Polar (bear)". Go ahead and laugh, you know you want to.
Beware of Ninja Beaver
Beware of Ninja Beaver

Beaver Ninja is coming to get you.. and he KICKS ASS! This Japanese Beaver is dressed up in his red Ninja gear holding his sword. Don't be fooled by his squinty eyes and buck teeth.
Uncle Sam wants YOU... to stop fidgeting with your
Uncle Sam wants YOU... to stop fidgeting with your

Uncle Sam wants YOU... to stop fidgeting with your nuts. Hilarious and crude American design... Uncle Sam looks pretty pissed you, you better drop those balls before he kicks your ass.
Middle Fingers & Smiley Face
Middle Fingers & Smiley Face

This weird and bizarre design features a wave of "fuck you" middle fingers... ending with a smiley face and the text 'Have a nice day'. Hey, we're not called Bizarre Tees for nothin' ;)
Udapimp Idaho
Udapimp Idaho

Is there really a Udapimp, Idaho? Well, no. But it's still funny... and this t-shirt will almost certainly start some conversations.
Give Peace a Chance! (but if that doesn't work...)
Give Peace a Chance! (but if that doesn't work...)

Hilarious design "Give Peace A Chance! (But if that doesn't work, I have a .45, two blackjacks, four knives, a stick and a hungry pit bull.) - I love this design because it looks so innocent until you
Knob Gobbler
Knob Gobbler

This design is funnier for the fact that there is no text, it simply features a doorknob + a turkey.. which obviously equals "Knob Gobbler".
Fear My Monkey
Fear My Monkey

Your monkey is dangerous.. make sure to warn everyone to FEAR YOUR MONKEY!
Ninjas are the shiznit
Ninjas are the shiznit

Ninjas are the shiznit! If you think Ninjas are awesome, let everyone know.. and maybe the ninjas will spare your life after they see how much you respect them. Sweet ass!

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